There is no one solution

To our dissolution

We desire an endless peace

Communion

A settling, a smoothing out

A relief from the dints of every slight sound and thought

That keep us wakeful

The small, subconscious bumps

These peas hidden, prodding

Bruising even through piles of featherdown

Keeping us turning,

Over and over

Most placed unwittingly

Through no fault of others, or our own

Of sabotage we will not speak.

We cannot blame You

When sunset and sunrise follow one another

Only by Your bidding, and Your love

Is the rhythm by which we rise and fall

In spite of agony I know

Your sweetness

Soft, steady

I cannot help but worship, discounting pain

At this, I am still more in awe

And praising You, cannot help

But rest

Even here, in my displaced state

I love You more.

uncalmed

Here and everywhere she has been, nowhere fits except that she makes it. Bliss only exists in manufacture, for all its singing and scheming to get her attention. That she knows this should be a boon, but it feels more like a burden she’s refusing to lift.

After times of flow, these shallow doldrums are always more testing. There’s a current of petty discontent swirling. She should look at the sky more. Clouds make her own evaporate. She watches inkspots instead. She’s misusing matter, shallow-breathing and keeping the Spirit at arm’s length. This time will be less underground perhaps, or perhaps not because no-one needs to see these slips; it can’t serve any purpose to be talking about your lamp’s flicker.

Repeat and fear and repeat. Far too practised in this skill. Maybe the mould is in her heartwood, and she’ll have to wait with its fruit standing out from her weak points. There’s no-one who would pay a surgeon to deal with this. Besides, even she knows the hierarchy of needs and signs off daily on her own contentment.

Stay, seeker. That’s all you need to do.

That’s all she doesn’t want, and all she can’t help.

Cannibal Kingdom

Audio version

Always Eve’s idea

To give ear to the long one

In the interests of equity

Ecological democracy

Give pleasure a chance

Reconnaissance, not romance

Man retains enjoyment

Yet perfect, pleasing, God-sent

Husband, home, employment

Become vaguely insufficient

It’s because she gathers

Novelty, her search-image

It’s supposed to serve her

The urge to collect

Into her arms the lovely, fallen

Entire orchard of paradise

And lose herself in the giving and receiving

But again she’s coming to

With its hard tongue inside her

Eyes open under thick scales

Slip-squeezing muscular

Air only a prayer away but

Dusky, half-forgotten…

Squirm out of cold coils

Back to the warm, honest soil

Of birth and rebirth

The cinnamon-scent of earth

Listening for holy footsteps

Hearing murmuring of wasps

Chasing nectar-dripping skin

And so it begins

Anew

Beside her in the furnace

Gold calf forming, reliquefying

She drinks in each burning breath

Long, deep, uniform

Sweating out the venom

Thinking of eternal love

And on the third day she rises

Sloughs the grey, blistered skin

One long, untidy tangle

Walks upright again.